The Law of Attraction & Health Care – How I Learned that I Create my Experiences as a Patient
Ellen Berry on 06 20, 2009
When the movie “The Secret” came out, and then I read “The Law of Attraction” by Esther Hicks, the revelations they revealed put together a lot of pieces for me, turning my approach to life upside down. In my own words, understanding the Law of Attraction taught me “the science of how God answers prayers”. I learned that what I put out into the world, I got back. I could see how deep-seated feelings, which sometimes I wasn’t even aware that I had, generated thought patterns that were attracting positive or negative experiences toward me.
Although I have successfully applied my new understanding to many aspects of my life, it has taken almost 30 years for me to get clear on my health. From the age of 14, when I first developed unexplained symptoms, until now at the age of 42, I have seen over 100 doctors. I’ve tried traditional medicine, Eastern medicine, chiropractic, raw food diets, intensive exercise, discontinuing all medications, taking many medications, taking herbs and supplements, fasting, different spiritual faiths and practices, counseling, and ignoring symptoms entirely. Only recently have I realized that I attracted in my experiences of poor health and disappointing doctors through strong feelings and prolonged thoughts that defeated my best intentions.
My breakthrough came a couple months ago, when I went to a doctor’s appointment to see a new rheumatologist. For the previous year I had chosen not to make any more doctor’s appointments, because I wasn’t making any headway. In the meantime, I did a great deal of research until I found information that I felt would be valuable to a knowledgeable doctor. I requested the referral from my primary care doctor, waited six weeks to receive an appointment date, and another six weeks for the appointment. In the meantime I obtained medical records, organized my file, and documented my current medications, medical history, family history, current symptoms, what treatments had or hadn’t worked, and what doctors I was currently working with.
By the time the day of my appointment came, I had a lot riding on it. I believed that the diagnosis of an autoimmune condition called Sjogren’s Syndrome, which I had received 8 years before, could explain many of my symptoms. The tricky part was that many doctors have a limited understanding of it’s potential to affect the whole body, and therefore didn’t consider my symptoms to be relevant. I hoped the doctor at Wake Forest would review my notes and files, consider the possibility that Sjogren’s was the culprit, and perhaps prescribe a standard therapy. It wouldn’t be a lot to ask, if the doctor was familiar with what Sjogren’s could do to the entire body, and was willing to work with me.
Instead, the doctor didn’t even review my medical history, go over my notes with me, verify my medications, discuss my family history, or review the medical records I arranged to have sent to him. Instead, he poked and prodded a little bit, said that there were only two connective tissue diseases that cause a lot of pain and I didn’t have them (I don’t know how he knew – he didn’t test for them). He asked me if I was depressed three times, and asked about counseling twice. And he “turfed” me, referring me to a pain management doctor with a “wastebasket diagnosis” that implied it was all in my head. He made me feel like I might as well just give up and resort to managing the pain for the rest of my life, rather than receive proper treatment.
Although this had been my experience time and time again, from doctors who were intimidated by my overlapping symptoms, too impatient to look deeper, or quick to write me off as mentally troubled, this time I chose to fight back right then. I went directly to the head of the clinic and expressed my frustration, anger and disappointment, and didn’t leave until I felt I had achieved some sense of resolution. Taking decisive, positive action on my own behalf must have been the turning point for me, because shortly thereafter I had a breakthrough.
After I returned home from that upsetting event, as my feelings and thoughts still churned with frustration, I suddenly was inspired to pause for just a moment and ask myself a question. What did that experience reflect back to me? However that experience made me feel, I must have felt inside at some level to have it mirrored back. I thought about it for a couple hours, and realized that during that appointment I felt like I wasn’t worth the doctor’s time, energy, commitment and support. So perhaps, at some deep level, I didn’t believe I deserved to be helped?
The next day I was preparing to attend a meeting of a great group of positive people, many of whom understand the Law of Attraction. We support each other in setting our intentions and envisioning the manifestation of our desires, according to the science of how it works. I brought a vision board with me – a collage of pictures reflecting what we want to attract into our lives. It’s like a visual shopping list of our deepest desires.
As I began to describe to the group why I had chosen pictures of Paris, ballroom dancing, going on walks with friends, and swimming with dolphins, I realized that many of the pictures I had chosen for my vision board were of things I had already done! It occurred to me that I missed the purpose of the vision board – to think big for the future – until I realized that those pictures said loud and clear that I wanted back the life I used to have. The freedom to travel, exercise, and have fun without pain.
I suddenly started crying in front of the group (not something I do often) as, for the first time in my life, I felt like what was happening with my health was unfair. I had always been strong… a survivor… kept fighting… but had never acknowledged my true feelings – that I didn’t deserve to be sick. At some level, I blamed myself for still being sick, or for becoming disabled in the first place. In that brief moment of powerful feelings, I let go of a simple misconception that had been the source of my grief for so long.
Since that revelation a month ago, I have had two excellent doctor’s appointments that allowed me to make significant progress towards feeling better. In fact, the next appointment I made, which was with a rheumatologist I had seen once before, met with all of my expectations, exactly as I had envisioned.
My newly-acknowledged truth — that I deserve to get better — flows through me and gives me strength now. The switch was flipped, and my clarity acts as a conductor to the manifestation of my desires for health and wellness.
The great lessons I’ve learned from this are:
- We attract the health care experiences we have.
- If we look at what our experiences cause us to feel, and ask what other experiences make us feel that way, we will discover what is interfering with our success.
- Although making smart choices in doctors, and being willing advocates for our own health is always important, an understanding of how the Universal Laws work will make all the difference in how quickly we find answers.
- Any path will work. Whether we pursue traditional medicine, integrative or alternative medicine, psychotherapy, raw food diets, Internet research, energy work, prayer or any other modality of treatment, we will find the healing we desire.