Take Us Seriously

I’ll kick off the list with a couple of my favorites…

“You can’t have that or you’d be dead by now.”
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“You ask too many questions — I have other patients.”
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Psychiatrist’s note in file: “Likes to collect diagnoses.”
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“I thought you had that, but I didn’t order the test to prove it because you’re on medications that would interfere with the test.”
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“You can expect your health decline as you get older.” (I was 30.)
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“I’m sure if we locked you in a closet you’d stop eating and lose weight.” (Quoted from my good friend Sharmyn McGraw.)
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“I’m not familiar with how the test is done — I just know you have to have it.”
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From a pain management specialist: “You’re telling me that you have pain all over your body. What do you expect me to do for that?!”
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“Perhaps it’s time to consider that you don’t have any more options.”
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I went to a neurologist because a brain tumor was suspected. He refused to give me an MRI or any kind of test, and wrote in his note to my doctor “There’s nothing neurologically I can do for her.”
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“You can’t just go from doctor to doctor and expect them to help you… I’m going to refer you to…”
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“The only thing that’s going to cure you is gastric bypass surgery.” (I had Cushing’s Disease — it the surgery didn’t kill me I would have still continued to gain weight uncontrollably.)
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I said to the doctor “I told the nurses I had recent surgery.” and he replied “It doesn’t matter what you told the nurses who admitted you — they don’t know what they’re doing.”
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“I don’t know why I had you come in — looking at your lab reports there’s really nothing I can do for you.” (The bill for the visit was $185.)

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Rheumatologist after poking me all over and seeing I’m in great pain (I practically leapt of the table when he grabbed my foot which hurt the worst): “The best thing I can recommend is trying to walk a little bit more every day to lose weight.”
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I asked the same rheumatologist: “Do you have access to a medical database that I wouldn’t have access to that might provide answers?” Answer: “Why when you have the Internet?”
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Rheumatologist at Cedars Sinai: “You don’t have that – it’s too rare.”
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Rheumatologist at Wake Forest after probing painful lumps all through my neck: “There are only two or three rheumatic conditions that cause the kind of pain you’re describing, and you don’t have them.” (I don’t know how he knew – he hadn’t drawn any blood or done any other tests.) “Have you seen a psychiatrist?” (Asked me three times.) And “Why the tears? Are you depressed? If you had Sjogrens, you wouldn’t be crying right now.” (Two weeks later I travelled to see a rheumatologist I trusted, was diagnosed with Sjogren’s, put on the medication I knew I needed, and the pain in all my joints went away.)

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And my all time favorite — “You’ll have to ask a (insert name of another specialist) about that.”
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I’m looking forward to reading your additions to the list! Please leave a comment…

Ellen